she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
