Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
