Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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