How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
