I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
