I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
