Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
