like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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