Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
