What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
