i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
