I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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