Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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