he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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