How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
