i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just had sex on a roof
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
