ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
