I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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