I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
