ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
