We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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