people are starting to question the shark bite story
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
