My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
