Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
