Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
