The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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