just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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