Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
