Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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