i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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