About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
