I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
