Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
