Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
