apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
