my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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