Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
