he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
