Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
