It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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