Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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