they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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