They should really pass out barf bags in church
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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