I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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