I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
