i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
