when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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