dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
