just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
