she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I am one with the molecules
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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