If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
