Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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