Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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